5 Ways to Lose Money Fast in NYC

I have a pretty modest budget these days, but there are a few things in the city that I can't seem to get around paying for. Expenses that you don't think about but that tend to sneak up on you when you least expect it. Or, something you are expecting to be able to resist, but you find you have a certain weakness for. Dagnabbit!

One thing is LAST MINUTE CAR FEES. As much as I try to plan and a lot enough time to get from place to place, the train generally takes about twice as long as travelling above ground, and if I don't have enough time to get to an audition or anything of that realm, I have on a couple of occasions broken down and called a car service. While there are plenty of yellow taxis waiting to whisk you away to the destination of your choosing in Manhattan, in Brooklyn it's harder to find them and/or get them to stop, so most of the time you end up calling your local car service. Every neighborhood has its own group of car services, like the ones you call in Williamsburg are different than the ones you call in Park Slope or Crown Heights. Then they charge you, basically whatever they feel like. In my limited experience, the total either seems way under or way over the distance travelled, and additionally, I have this weakness for leaving sizable tips for all these jokers. It probably has something to do with currently doing work that involves tips and wanting to pay it forward, if you will.

Another weakness I have is for SUBWAY MUSICIANS. It's supposed to be illegal for people to get on the subway and beg for money, and a lot of times these people seem awfully well dressed to be needing my help, but come on with your accordion or your travelling puppet show, and it's like my kryptonite. I think it's because I identify with trying to be a paid artist in this crazy world. I know, I know. But you should see their faces light up when I give them all my spare change. I try to resist, but oh. If you saw the puppet show you wouldn't be able to either.

CONVENIENT SNACKS, and the like. You know how sometimes you're driving home and you think, man I'm hungry. Good thing I'll have my choice of food in a few minutes when I pull into my driveway. And you think about maybe pulling in to the grocery store on the way, but it's too much trouble to park and all that jazz so you just hold off. Well in this town they have little carts of nuts and delicacies around every corner, and you don't know how long you have to wait for your train that takes you back to your apartment, and the nuts are right there, yours for a few dollars. People here are opportunists. It's starts raining and all of the sudden there's a man on every corner selling umbrellas. And if you didn't bring your umbrella, and you're tired of getting wet, well, let's just say we've ended up with a few umbrellas that way.

THE SCARY PEOPLE TRYING TO SELL YOU PACKAGE HAIR SALON DEALS AT UNION SQUARE. The problem is they're not exactly scary. They're usually very charming. You try to shake your head and walk away like you do with all the other street merchants and street urchins, but these folks seem to have gone to a special school for persuading you to buy something you don't need. After a few minutes you think, man, this sounds great! $60 and I get all of these things from this hair salon I know nothing about! But they seem to have other jobs besides hocking hair packages on the street and this is just their after-my-day-job, job. And man, even though it seems ridiculous, it starts to seem like a good idea. And I have to tell you, the first two times I wriggled away (I'm meeting a friend! I'm really bald! Look over there!) but the third time this "actor" started talking to me and turning on the ole charm and well, I have two hair packages that need redeeming. I'll let you know if they turn out to be legit.

Lastly, ONLINE GROCERY SHOPPING AND FOOD DELIVERY. Beware of their charms. Something about ordering food from an online grocery store that delivers right to your apartment makes you feel like you'll pay anything, because who wants to lug 40 pounds of dog food up three flights of stairs? And when you're watching it add up on your computer it's almost like it's monopoly money, 'cause this isn't like any grocery store you've ever been to. (that's probably part of their whole scheme!) (shaking fists at the heavens). I have a similar weakness when ordering food from restaurants that deliver. It seems like everyone delivers here! And when you're ordering things off the menu over the phone, you start to think, well hey, they're bringing a main course, might as well bring me an appetizer and dessert too! And then before you know it, you hate yourself. So watch out for that.