An Entertainment Conundrum

Is it odd to anyone else that Beverly Hills Chihuahua was the number one movie in America a couple of weeks ago? I don't know if that's a sign of people being desperate for entertainment in these dark days or possibly just a sign that our time as a species is rapidly coming to a close. That movie pulled in $30 million in its opening weekend. I guess the folks out in Hollywood are desperate for family entertainment. I'm desperate to keep me, my wife and my unborn children from seeing movies like that for fear that we'll all claw our own eyes out and become some kind of sideshow act called "The Blind Williamsons".

Really what I'm concerned about lately is all the fuss over Zack and Miri Make a Porno. For anyone who doesn't know, this is the new Kevin Smith (Chasing Amy, Dogma) movie about two twenty something roommates who don't have the money to pay their bills so they decide to make an amateur porn flick. It stars Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks and is coming out on Halloween. There has been a pretty significant backlash against against this movie that isn't even out yet just because of the title and the content. I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but it has some nudity. GASP!

Listen folks, we live in a world where kids line up around the block to go see the Saw movies. Because of this fact, Hollywood is pumping out one per Halloween. Thanks Hollywood. Where they didn't just make one Hostel movie, they made two! Where video games like Grand Theft Auto and Halo and Saints Row out sell feature films. What do all these things have in common Samwise? Well my friends, they are violent. Whether it's machine guns blazing, machete wielding or a power drill to the skull, these things are readily accessible to anyone who wants them. Now I'm not advocating pulling all this stuff out of the theaters and off the shelves but I see and hear a bunch of hypocrites out there hoisting their digital picket signs about a movie that is gonna have some footage of some male and female naughty bits.

Now anyone who knows better is free to correct me if I'm wrong but I didn't see a huge uproar over the Grindhouse films or the new GTA. Sure people whine and complain about these things for a while but rarely does anyone do enough to actually get them taken off the shelves or pull the tickets out of the hands of the teeny-boppers who mob the theaters to get in. You know what I think? I don't think people should do anything about it. You choose to go to the movies or buy video games.

Look if you don't want your kid playing this game or going to see that movie then don't let them. Perhaps you should do a little more research when Billy asks for Halo 3 for his 7th birthday and you walk in on him mowing down the Covenant with a pulse rifle and you poop your collective pants. Perhaps your kid shouldn't be playing so many video games. Perhaps you shouldn't take them to see Saw 5 because 12 year olds shouldn't see people getting fed to kitchen-aid mixers (thanks wedding gifts!) or dueling with nail guns and what not.

And why is violence okay but a couple seconds of schlong isn't? Spattering brains? Sure! Jiggling boobs? Hell no! We got bigger problems in the world people than Zack and Miri people. How about a failing economy, a healthcare crisis, and people losing their houses because they can't afford their mortgage payments? Turn off the tv, take your kids to somewhere green and serene and find a solution for some real problems. Or just stick to movies like Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I hear it's great.

PS - The new Ray LaMontagne album "Gossip in the Grain" just came out. Go buy it.