My Friend, Don't Be A Jerk...

My wife and I are nice people. Believe it or not, we don't suplex people for not turning their phone on vibrate in the movies (though we should) or slap a fool for jumping in line on the ski lift or anything ridiculous like that. I'm a firm believer in the good cop approach. But I'll tell ya' it always helps to have that ONE friend who loves to be the bad cop. I don't understand the people out there who refuse to be cool. It's like Desperado, they have to settle the score with someone, anyone, EVERYONE. Which brings me to my current confessional. I have always worked in a business somehow closely related with the very people I'm speaking of. I'll be nice to anyone. I'll try to help you. I'll get you what you want, even if it's incredibly annoying. Are you the diner who wants water, no ice, extra lemons, three straws, plenty of Splenda, and all the free chips and salsa you can eat? No problem! Coming right up! Are you allergic to everything to the point where you really shouldn't have left your protective sweet-ass human sized bubble and venture out but you just HAD to have that specialty dish your way? Hey, it's not on the menu buddy, but I'm gonna make that happen because you're special. And don't kid yourself killer, I'll be happy to talk to UPS because they didn't get your microphone to your movie set in time (even though you gave me the wrong address).
But don't be a dick about it. It's not my fault that the figurative you happen to be high maintenance individuals. I'm a problem solver baby. After kickin' it 40 hours a week, you might be surprised to learn that I don't work a second job because I think it rocks. I have a good time with restaurant folk though and we're a hearty bunch. If you, the diner play your cards right, we're gonna have some drinks, some snacks, and get through this together, having a relatively fun time while we do it. In case anyone was wondering, my sweet wife doesn't slog around at her second job after changing autistic kid's lives so you can be annoying and ugly to her while she makes an hourly wage.
I think people forget what it's like to just be cool. That the working class (and I mean ANYONE who works) is gonna be way quicker to help you the customer out if you're just nice and you smile and don't freak out about little problems that crop up. I read somewhere that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. I don't know if that's true. But just remember it's way easier for me to help the nice, relaxed person before I go the extra mile for the jerk off. But if you insist to being THAT guy (or girl) then roll for Initiative, pal. Because I came here to do two things; kick ass and eat Gummy Bears...