Wednesday, March 19, 2008

An evening in the Big Blue Twilight Zone

I enjoy the passion with which my husband's family roots for their team. As a transplant Texan in a town where you could be a fan of any number of winning or losing teams (here, VOLS, Commodores, Rebels, and sundry superfans live together in one mega-melting pot of fandom) I can appreciate that in Lexington, Kentucky, there is only one team you watch and one team you root for. There is a simplicity and dependability in this not found in most facets of life. This past weekend we went up to hang with husband's fam, and I couldn't help but be, to borrow my grandmother's phrase-ology--tickled, at the turn of events.


Background: It's the SEC men's basketball tournament in Atlanta, and Kentucky is supposed to play, but due to tornadoes whipping through the area the game has been postponed and everyone's just kind of standing around eating nachos. There's a lot of talk about getting people in and out safely, if the bad weather that's already come through will return, etc. etc. This goes on for hours, and they finally decide to put the game off until the next afternoon. The camera crews literally go around interviewing the same three people for two hours, and they keep saying the same thing. I find this hilarious, but no one else in the room seems to notice the hilarity. They seem to be watching silently a) in reverence to the team b) in hopes that they will catch a snippet of pulitzer prize winning journalism on this subject c) their brains were stolen by aliens while I was in the bathroom.

When it gets interesting: When it's all said and done the 11 o'clock news has become the 12:00 am news, and I'm thinking to myself, finally, some other topics of discussion! There's only so much you can say about a game that never happened and a storm that has done some damage, mostly in other parts of Atlanta. But then a few minutes into the news I realize something: every area of news is revolving around Kentucky basketball. Again I look around to see if anyone is noticing the hilarity, but everyone is just glued to the tv. The news went a little something like this:
Lindy Binderton:"Our top story tonight is on the tornadoes that whipped through Atlanta postponing the game indefinately. Fans are pissed! We're pissed here at the newsdesk! Let's get a look at the weather..."
Weatherman Thompson:"Thanks, Lindy. You can see the path of the storm as it moved through the metropolitan Atlanta area hours ago. There could be more storms hitting the outskirts later on this hour. If that happens it could affect where the Cats play tomorrow. Back to you, Bob" (notice how the weather in the actual city where we are, Lexington, never comes up!)
Bob: "Let's head over to the streets of downtown Lexington, where Lot Smiley has seen how the fans are reacting. Lot?"
Lot: "Bob, you can see the streets of downtown behind me, are not in their usual bustling state (it is a well known fact that the downtown streets of Lexington are never bustling.) When fans in the bars downtown found out the game had been postponed until tomorrow, I witnessed them stare at the television. They couldn't believe it. Some of them were surprised (PS, this would only be news if you are a fan, heard the news, and set yourself on fire or jumped out a nearby window. Continuing to watch the program you were watching is not news.) Back to you Lindy!"
Lindy: "Let's go to a commercial break"
*All of the local commercials feature Kentucky's Basketball coach, holding a sandwich, standing in front of a car, and kissing babies. It's sort of eerie, like that movie where John Ritter is stuck in the tv and stars in every show that's on? You know the one. He (Billy, not John) must make a boatload in promo/endorsement money.*
Lindy: "Now let's go to the director of the tournament, who's standing by..."And on and on for the rest of the newscast.

Postscript: The Cats went on to lose to UGA the following day in a heartwrenching overtime. UGA would win the tournament,
but Kentucky's fans, and the team, will be back. And when they are, you can bet Lexington we'll be covering it, round the clock, in it's entirety, with only kentucky basketball coach (tell em billy sent ya!) approved commercial breaks. That's how they do it up there.

No comments :